Tuesday, 28 June 2011

A Home With My Name on It...part two

YAY.....We found it, finally after weeks of waiting, looking, with 6 days to go before we moved out of our rental, we found a HOME WITH MY NAME ON IT.
On Sunday someone asked how i was doing, and if we had found a house yet....I answered with
"I am dong well now...last week I was a bit mental and stressed and was telling God
what I thought of his lack of faithfulness......then i got my period!!!!!" Yes
suddenly all was well in the world again and I was back to relaxed mode, of "I'm
sure there is a house out there for us somewhere"
When I tell friends that little story they all laugh, girlfriends that is, we all
understand, we all know what we can be like before our delightful "friend" visits.
Any way I continued telling my friend on Sunday,
"If God created the world in just 7 days, then finding a home for me in 6 will be
easy peasy"
And guess what......it was
Sunday night I got rung by two different friends, offering homes for us to live.
Yay......with 6 days to go, GOD PROVED HIS FAITHFULNESS TO US.
I know I go on about God, but in the last few years I have been clinging on to my life with a mere
string, and if I didn't have faith in something I am sure I would have jumped off
a long time ago.
My faith in God has been my anchor that has kept me stable, from going too insane,
more insane than I am already, my friends would say.
Anyway, I am now busy packing up more boxes, and reassuring my children that it
will all be ok, and probably reassuring myself as well.
see you soon

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Jethro's Story

Life is a journey. Sometimes we take part of that journey against our will.
Our journey is begun for us by those who conceived us. Later on down the track
we continue it ourselves. The choices and decisions we make determine where
we are and who we are today.

My journey had been one that had made me the person I was, based on the decisions I had made and the experiences I had been through.

But then I became pregnant, and for 9 months I shared an intimate journey with
my son Jethro.

From the very beginning, he was determined to stay around. HE SEEMED TO HAVE A
STORY TO TELL. He was conceived, even though it wasn't the right time of month,
he decided to stick even when I bled really heavily for the first 6 weeks.
Then we went for our 20 week scan where we were told the Jethro was probably
missing his lower jaw and had a kink in his spine, He also had a very small
stomach which ment he probably wasn't swallowing, and could possibly have
trouble breathing when he was born. We could have ended his journey then. We
briefly considered it. Coming home from the scan where we had said "NO" to
a termination, we said."Should we?" And when I considered it again myself
out loud, my little boy, only 20 weeks old gave me the biggest kick in the
gut - and I knew HE had an opinion too. He wanted to stay around, and we
knew we had to continue.

Jethro had an amazing time within me - he had a HUGE swimming pool to move
around in, which he definitely made the most of. By the end of my pregnancy
I was equivalent to someone carrying full term with triplets. When my waters
broke 10 litres of fluid were released instead of the normal 1 to 2.

Every scan we had after that initial one, we tried to see his chin and his mouth. But every time without fail, Jethro tried to cover it up. He either had one
or both his hands covering it up. He was even born with his hand in his mouth,
as if he had a secret. We loved this about his personality, Almost as if to
SEE ME?" We loved this delightful side of his personality. Jethro knew he
was loved and wanted.

I was so SAD to say goodbye to my baby boy, who I had such dreams for. I
wanted to believe the scans were wrong. and I truly believed Jesus could
heal my son - but He didn't in the WAY I was hoping. When Jethro was born,
I was glad that he didn't have to attempt to breath outside my womb - to see
him struggle and fight to stay alive would have been heartbreaking. I am so
GRATEFUL the decision was taken from us - and he was at peace.

This journey has been long and difficult in a whole lot of ways, but I have
learned so much from being Jethro's Mum. I HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE MORE
have learned to accept difficult situations. I have asked "WHY" Why is
this happening to us? Why would God allow it to happen? BUT MY TRUST
IN GOD HAS NEVER WAVERED. I have learned to care more deeply than ever
before, and through my own suffering, I can empathize and care for and
begin to recognize the suffering in others. God is growing in me more
tolerance, respect, empathy and more intimate love. AND I AM GRATEFUL.

It was a long and difficult 20 weeks. I thought the end would never come.
But it did and it is over. And I am so relieved. Even though it was
incredibly hard and sad, I feel so blessed to have carried him for
over 39 weeks and we had him for as long as we did

Jethro has a story to tell, and now you are part of that story, and my
hope is that you might keep his story in your heart, and share it with
those who need to hear it.

Love Misty.

Monday, 13 June 2011

A Home With My Name on It.

I have found myself de-cluttering today, chucking away things
I don't need anymore, broken toys, and lots of other crap
that one has, after 9 years of living in one place.

I'm still amazed at how much "stuff" we have. I went to Hong Kong
with one suitcase, when I returned to NZ in 2002,I bought back
half a shipping crate, plus a husband and newly adopted 8 year
old son...and now, well the eyes are just boggling.

I am finding a need to de-clutter and throw away at the moment
because in 3 weeks we will be shifting from our "home",
to live somewhere else.

This home is our first "family" home, we bought Scooby here from HK,
we bought Ennybelle home from the hospital,and Potato,
well he was born on the kitchen floor. And then there's Jethro
and all the memories we have of his short life - I know we
will take all those memories with us, but it is still hard
to leave this place.

Probably harder, because we have no-where to go yet - we just
can't find a place to live, a place to rent, in our area. And I
tell you , we have looked.

But as crazy as it is, I know it will all work out, and I just know
in my heart, there is a home out there "WITH MY NAME ON IT" - I
have this peace in my heart, that it is all under control,even
tho my head contradicts this often - and reminds me "its only 3 weeks"

If God can provide food for the birds, and dress the lillies in the field,
then I just know, for me, his daughter he will provide a shelter
for my family.

So here I am, beginning to de-clutter, throw way, and box up my 'stuff'
in anticipation for the big move in 3 weeks to
"A Home With My Name on It"